Sobriety is not a goal.
It’s not a destination either.
We are told so many lies about Sobriety. The biggest one is that Sobriety Is Hard.
Even in our darkest days. Our most f*cked-up drinking sessions. All of us achieve a cessation of drinking. We do it by falling asleep. We all need to sleep at time point. And not even the most dedicated of us can drink whilst we sleep.
Yes we can always choose to start again. To alleviate or medicate against the symptoms our last session left us with. But we did stop. And it is as easy to stop whilst we are asleep as it is to do whilst we are awake. So what’s the difference between the two?
So many of us become fixated on sobriety. Like it’s the biggest accomplishment of our life. Our loftiest goal.
It’s not an achievement at all. It’s just a spring board to get us to where we actually want to be.
I see so many blogs dedicated to “achieving” sobriety. Obsessing over it being the Magic Pill that will make life wonderful. The ultimate lifestyle makeover.
I see so many paragraphs dedicated to maintaining this elusive goal. And I always want to ask-ok: now what?
Because if there is no actual goal to achieve? Then it’s just sobriety for the sake of it. And directionless sobriety ends in endless support group meetings-or a trip down the off license.
The goals shouldn’t even be long-term. They should be immediate. And overlapping. As frivolous as learning a new language or travelling to a new place. As daft as buying new clothes or seeing a play. Doing a press up. Whatever it takes to create ourself anew and make the world a difference place everyday.
Because let’s face it: alcohol abuse is Boring As F*ck. and if we spend years doing it? We’ve already got a high tolerance to boredom. So pretty much anything new that we try will be more exciting than sitting around being drunk-or sitting around being sober actually, as that’s what most of us automatically transcend to in sobriety.
Sobriety for the sake of it has a very short shelf life. So knock it on the head. Today. Delete your blog you were busy writing on the brave struggle you are having today on your staring-at-the-four-walls sobriety and write one about learning to play the banjo instead.
Spend half the time you used to spend in support groups going to see bands play you would never have considered before.
Delete that forum you spend hours whinging on and write a sodding book instead. No. Not a sobriety book. A book on stamp collecting even. As long as it doesn’t mention booze or sobriety it can be on whatever you like petal. Grasshopper mating rituals. Scientology. Whatever is new to your eyeballs will do.
Newness ensures long-term sobriety. Routine and boredom are a danger zone you want to stay well away from.
And obsessing about sobriety like it’s the end goal? Well that way lies disaster.