Monthly Archives: May 2015

Change Or Die

When I was doing a 23 day water-only fast, up a mountain in Panama, to get cured and get out of my wheelchair, I met a young lad with a tattoo on the base of his neck.

Fasting is weird because either you can recall things with totally crystal clear clarity, or not at all. And I remember the conversation with hyper awareness. Like I remember most words of the 4 books a day I would read whilst fasting. But I don’t remember whether this tattoo was Hebrew or Chinese. And I wouldn’t be able to recall it again if l saw it now. I asked him what I meant. He replied.

Change Or Die.

To this day it’s the single most accurate sentence I’ve ever heard regarding recovery. Any type of recovery. Physical. Addiction. Emotional. Bereavement. Doesn’t matter. Whatever the catalyst is that’s enforced the need for change in life. We have to go with it. We have to allow it. We have to seek it out.

Change Or Die.

In some people there isn’t a major internal or external crisis that occurs to bring on this Change Or Die revelation. They just wake up one day with the absolute knowing that there is more to life than what they are living. So they make dramatic change. Ending a marriage. Leaving a lucrative career. Finding religion. From the outside we look at them and call it a midlife crisis. From the inside its just:

Change Or Die.

None of us can go back. Back to the Before. Before the thing happened us to change us forever. Or before the realisation occurs to us that there is a better fit out there than the life we are living. We can try and drown these thoughts out. Try and medicate ourselves so we are numb enough not to notice we have outgrown our beliefs or surroundings. But it can’t last. It’s not an effective long term solution. There is only one solution:

Change Or Die

It doesn’t matter if that change involves learning how to walk again. Or learning to live life sober. Or overcoming an Eating Disorder. Whether it involves emigrating. Or a total career overhaul. It won’t go away. This need for change won’t leave you alone if you decide to simply ignore it. It will get bigger. It’s supposed to. It’s just trying to get your attention and it will shout louder until you accept you need to listen to it and go wherever it takes you.

Change Or Die

It’s far easier in the long run to simply let go of the brakes. Stop clinging on to the old. Make a choice to make the changes that will allow us to move forward. Some call it being our Authentic Selves. Others describe it as Living Our Truth. But for those who have ignored this searing need? Ignored it until it takes us to the very depths of despair. The very end of the line? The very edge of reason? It simply becomes

Change. Or. Die.

Luckily we don’t all need to go up a mountain and live on water to know the truth of it. Or get it tattooed on our neck. Or have our body fail totally on us before we figure it out.


How To Be A Sober Girl, The 30 Day Kickstart

  I set up How To Be a Sober Girl because I wanted to give simple, no bullsh*t advice for any girl who wants to have a fabulous sober life.

Not an average one. Not a struggle-on-bravely-through one. Not a sit indoors whining online to all our virtual friends out there in the ether  existence. A Glamorous, no holds-barred, luxurious stroll through sobriety.

I also strongly suggested that sobriety in and of itself is not the goal. That it isn’t the magic pill that makes the world a suddenly perfect place.

But  that made a lot of you sad. And you told me so, in no uncertain terms. And I don’t like making you sad.


I still stand by what I said. But there has to be a compromise so that you get to be sober and fabulous effortlessly, and I get to make people feel better. Which is the only reason I do any of this stuff in the first place.


Starting after this Bank Holiday weekend. On Tuesday 5th of May, I’m inviting anyone who wants to to join a How To Be A Sober Girl 30 Day Kickstart. It’s going to involve as little online support, and as much getting you out of the house, away from bloody internet forums as you can possibly fit in. But yes, alright enough internet handholding to build your sober momentum and get you and your way.

It’s free. I get bored by people who charge for this sort of thing. Espacially when I see how badly it’s done and for how much money. Really awful stuff floating around out there on this internet malarkey, honestly.

Just tweet me @CarrieArmstrng your email address, that’s all I want. The rest we can take from there. I’m not going to sign you up to any newsletters, or get you to buy any products, (I’d be hard-pushed to do that, since I have no newsletter…or products…)


I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care how much you drink. I don’t care if you feel like your drinking is an issue or have been fighting in denial for years, or you just fancy a change from your usual routine. None of that is important. I’m not bothered if you’ve tried to stop a hundred times or never attempted it before. None of it is relevant.

I will ask you to do homework. You will be asked to perform tasks. and there will be a cessation of drinking. The rest you will discover as we go along.


if you can tweet me with the words “30 day kickstart” and your email address before Tuesday? Then we can begin.

I’m looking forward to meeting you.


Carrie x