Hard Sell Sobriety

Caroline Armstrong

I used to drink a lot.

It was rubbish.

Then I stopped.

And things got very, very, very good.

I mean, there is a bit more to it than that. But, essentially, that’s what it comes down to, for me.

A lot of people get in touch with me. And it’s always lovely to hear from them. To answer their questions.

But I’m not here to hard sell the concept of sobriety to anyone.

I don’t do it because I want you on Team Sobriety.

I’m not lonely. I don’t need your company.

I don’t write and speak about this stuff, because I want to convert people.

I don’t care if you drink or not, or rather, your drinking or non drinking is of no direct consequence to me.

The majority of my friends are indifferent to alcohol, but most do drink. And I would never dream of trying to change them.

The people who contact me are definitely not indifferent to alcohol. It is pretty much either ruling, stripping the colour from, or destroying their lives.

But it is just that. Their lives. Not mine. It is their choice to keep drinking or to stop.

What’s my job? To share the way I did it. To share the solutions I created that worked for me, and to be an easily accessible example of what a life of day-to-day non drinking actually looks like.

And why do I do this? Because it is deeply satisfying to me, to have nailed this. To have the solutions to the problems I struggled with so hard, for so long.

I do it, to be what I never had, for other women.

Most of all,: I do it because I can.

But non-drinking is not a religion.

Alcohol-free living is not a cult.

Sobriety is not a sales pitch.

And I am not here to sell you a damn thing.

If you think you are missing out on something by “giving up” alcohol? You won’t get any arguments to the contrary, from me. I’m happy to let you get on  with it.

My role is not to cajole you into thinking the way I think.

My days are not spent persuading women that this life is worth achieving.

The way I see it, you won’t know it’s true until you’ve experienced it yourself. And I’m not interested in strong-arming you into doing that. Not at all.

I see so many people trying to hard sell a life of sobriety to other people. And it’s deeply unattractive.

Nobody wants anything, that they see people trying to desperately offload. Non drinking is the best gift I ever gave myself. It’s a privilege.

It’s a luxury item I invest in every day. Not a tatty car boot sale bargain.

When I see people working so hard to try and get people to convert to their way of living, quite often it is from a place of kindness and concern.

But, equally often, it’s from a place of needing every one to be the same as them, so they don’t feel they are missing out anymore.

I used to drink a lot. My life was incredibly average. I hated myself.

Then I stopped. My life is unrecognisable to how it used to be. I like myself

And if you want the same? Feel free to try doing it the way I did it.

And if you aren’t convinced? That’s just fine with me. You’ll either find another way that works for you. Or you’ll keep drinking.

And I wouldn’t dream of urging you to do otherwise.

Because, hard sell sobriety is not something I will ever buy into.







7 thoughts on “Hard Sell Sobriety

  1. Theresa says:

    I’m so utterly exhausted from my drinking life. I have tried it all. Last gig was intensive outpatient. Made it about one month. Just finished a three day binge. I feel like shit. I had 7 years sober once it was amazing. I felt happy, satisfied, I want that back so bad. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Love & Light

  2. Theresa Wright says:

    I want to be a sober girl. Theresa

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. ainsobriety says:

    Amen. I feel exactly the same way.

    • Theresa says:

      How did it happen for you? I mean what do you think turned your brain from wanting all the time to not wanting it? I just don’t know what I need to do.


      • ainsobriety says:

        I was just so tired of living.
        And one day I realized I didn’t want to die. I couldn’t leave my kids like that. That not drinking might be horrible, but it couldn’t be worse than my sound crushing existence.

        And I decided one year, no alcohol. I told people. I got a therapist. I had a breakdown. But I could see it was the right choice, even when it hurt and was hard.

        It’s been 2 1/2 years. I stay connected to people in early sobriety. It reminds me where I could be tomorrow, if I choose.

        Instead I choose life, and joy and happiness.

        You can check my blog too. I mainly wrote to help show that life sober is amazing. And hard. And worth it.

        You can get back. You deserve it. Seriously.


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