When I was a drinker, I didn’t believe I deserved a nice life.
I didn’t believe I deserved nice things.
It’s fairly easy to avoid nice things, when you don’t believe you deserve them.
You just don’t buy nice clothes.
Don’t go nice places.
Don’t look for nice relationships with people who treat you well.
But complications arise when a strong urge to stop drinking, becomes a realistic life goal.
Because a non-drinking life is a nice thing.
It’s the nicest thing I’ve ever owned.
Luckily at the time I stopped drinking, I didn’t realise just how nice it would be.
Or I wouldn’t have given myself it.
A non-drinking life is like creating a ripple effect in a still lake.
The niceness of this one act, it just spreads outwardly, until every part of life becomes a really, deeply lovely experience.
Eleven years on from stopping drinking, and I can say with total conviction, that every part of my life is nice.
Every part feels lovely.
Every part is the best-of-the-best.
That I don’t struggle with believing l am worthy of nice things.
Because this ripple effect of niceness has gradually, softly, gently and comfortably, raised my expectations, so that I now expect all facets of my life to be nice.
It would be a struggle for me to believe I didn’t deserve a lovely life, filled with lovely things, these days.
And that’s one hell of a turnaround.
It’s the thing that makes my non-drinking life, unrecognisable from my drinking life.
Something far stronger than simply a lack of hangovers.
Or nights wasted in bars.
A subconcious expectation of a lovely life, in every way, is the most important step this sober girl ever took.
And it you haven’t taken that step yet?
Then today is as good a day as any to give it a try x