I used to be great at “giving up” drinking.
I would have a tried-and-tested method that I used all the time. On a loop.
I had to use it all the time. On a loop. Because it wouldn’t last long. I would start drinking again, so I would need to use the method. Over and over again.
Maybe you’ve used it too? It went a little something like this:
•drink lots and lots. Do something even more dangerous and frightening and humiliating than usual
•have this something I’ve done be followed by a particularly scary, anxiety-ridden hangover. Even worse than the usual ones.
•be so terrified that I was convinced the fear of my actions and feelings would definitely scare me sober this time.
•spend all waking moments at work thinking about not drinking.
•hide away alone and isolate myself all the hours of the day I didn’t have to work.
•become so bored and lonely and sad that eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and start drinking again. Just so I would have something to do.
There were countless problems with this equation. So many, that the method of permanent non-drinking I teach, is built on foundation of doing the polar opposite of how I used to do things when I failed at “giving up” drinking.
But you don’t have to follow my method to see more success in your own method of stopping drinking.
Even just adding a few simple weapons to your own arsenal of non-drinking will help make all the difference, long-term.
So here is a tip, from me, to you, to help you on your way this week:
If you are using the isolation method to stop yourself drinking, just like I used to, back in the days of unsuccessful “giving up” drinking.
Then make sure you are at least getting some results, by making sure you are isolating in the most useful way.
And the most useful is not sitting the house alone, but still spending hours observing everyone on Facebook or Twitter. Scoping out their timeline to see what a great time they are apparently having.
Doing this just compounds this feeling of loneliness that we haven’t managed to Eradicate just yet.
Instead, stop being an observer of social media. At all.
Take Twitter, Facebook and Instagram Off your phone.
Watching other people from the outside, just gives us a warped perspective. Because an observer can never tell what another person is feeling from the inside.
A snapshot into someone’s life is never accurate. It’s just enough for us to project how we think they are feeling. And we always pick the scenario that will make us feel the worst.
Because that scenario can then be used as ammunition to let ourselves start drinking again.
You want to stop drinking? Really and truly?
Start seeing friends face to face, for an hour at a time. Somewhere interesting.
Stay off social media. Not permanently. Just until the face to face meetings really start to fill the loneliness gap.
Being picky about the company we keep leads to long lasting, fulfilling non-drinking.
Hiding away and spending hours every day observing warped, inaccurate Windows into other people’s lives via their social media timelines, is a guranteed way back to drinking.
Try it for a week. See how much better you feel. The sheer relief it brings.
Then decide if you like it enough to try some more of the slightly different, non-drinking methods out there…