I love my Christmas tree this year.
I waited until this weekend to get one and put it up.
I wanted something that reflects the way the world feels for me, now.
So I went with the same theme as the Christmas cards I sent out:
Peace and Joy
That’s what Christmas is about for me, these days.
I shudder to imagine the words I would have bedecked my tree with, back in my drinking days:
All the while, smiling on the outside. Putting on a santa costume (it’s a tradition where I come from.) and drinking the season away.
Telling myself it was normal to feel like this.
That life was hard, and everyone is unhappy. That’s what being an adult is all about.
I’m on the other side of all that, now.
The darkness is over.
I wake up everyday in a lovely safe and warm home.
A place I am always comfortable in.
I get to spend the holiday season with friends and family.
I get to do things I didn’t even know I enjoyed. Like baking and cooking and making my home beautiful.
All ready for loved ones to come and spend the holidays here.
In this place of Peace and Joy.
At night, I get to curl up, onesie on, cup of tea in hand.
And watch the Christmas films that made me so happy as a child.
Nothing about Christmas now, resembles the shambles that it used to, back when drinking was the dominant feature.
And I’m so grateful for that. I can’t even put into words what it means to me. To not have that struggle, anymore.
I wish you so much peace and joy, this season.
On your tree and in your home.
Lots of love,