Monthly Archives: August 2017

Have you cake and eat it

I often struggle to believe that I had no idea what people actually did that wouldn’t involve drinking.

For years I wouldn’t have believed people did actually have lives that weren’t soaked in alcohol.

I had no experience of socialising without getting battered.

Weekend. Evenings. All free time was spent in pubs.

I didn’t know any different. So I blithely assumed that my way was the only way.
People must have been doing normal things around me. I was just too tunnel-visioned to notice.

If they weren’t up for getting pissed. Then they were of no use to me. So I ignored them.

When I’d had enough. Years after the fun has gone out of drinking. I wanted a different life.

I’d started noticing people who never drank. They were so fascinating to me. But I never really had the confidence to ask them about the intricacies of their lives.

What do you do with your time?

A simple question that could easily have gotten me started. But I was too afraid to put myself out there.
So I had no choice but to figure it out myself.

And I did. It took a long time. Lots of trial and error.
It broke my heart a bit more, every time I discovered that these new things I was trying, has been there the whole time. That I’d been missing out on them for so long.

That l would never get my youth back, to spend as a happy non-drinker.

But I’m here now. It’s all second-nature. I have the life I’ve always wanted.

And, more to the point, I can’t imagine ever associating drinking with any experience I have. Or any activity I undertake.

Any party I go to, I get to enjoy as a non-drinker without even thinking about it.

Every date I go on with my husband, we get to leave alcohol totally out of the equation, as a subconscious habit.

Every Christmas and New Year. Every Birthday and Holiday. All are spent effortlessly experiencing a full life.

This week I went for tea and cake with my mother. They wrapped our cakes up as presents.

This is what my life is like now that there is no drinking. Everything is a fucking gift. Even the everyday things.

Talk about having your cake and eating it!

It was so perfect. Such a wonderful moment. I had to share it with you.

I could be in a pub right now, drinking last nights hangover away. I’m not. Because I chose to live differently.

So did you.

How good are we??!


Perfectly stuck.

It’s been a while.
A really long while.
I know. And I’m sorry.
2017 has so far seen changes at a lightning pace in every aspect of my life.
That’s not really the reason I’ve held out on blogging though.
I’ve had a new website in the pipeline for over a bloody year now.
It’s much more reflective of what my work is about. And my personal beliefs on stopping drinking.
It’s got a proper section for my mini eBooks, of which there are a shed load.
Videos. Pictures. Blah blah etc.
It’s not even that fancy. It’s just taken the people I paid to do it, so flipping long, that I got engaged, got married and changed my name. And still this bloody site wasn’t done.
So I decided to do nothing. To wait.
Wait for my version of perfection.
Worst old drinking habit ever.

It’s ridiculous to go back to such an old habit of thinking, twelve years after stopping drinking alcohol. 
The habit of perfection. This concept that if I can’t be perfect, then I’ll just be nothing at all. It’s bullshit.
It leads to nothingness. A life devoid of personal development.
And I let it stifle me for a year. This out-dated concept of perfection.
This all-or-nothing mentality l’d managed to undo for so long.
Took me ages to work out what I was doing. And how “drinky” this behaviour was.
But when I did, I addressed it.
And I’m happy it happened.
Because as much as I unequivocally know I will never drink again.
I’m equally aware I’m either evolving or I’m stagnating.
And stagnating sober isn’t a very different feeling place than stagnating drunk.
And drunk is so average. So second-rate an existence, to me.
That I want no emotional links to a life like that at all.
What notion of perfection are you inadvertently carrying around that is making you stagnate when you could be flourishing?