Domestic Affair

I’m really missing my app whilst it’s being redone for you guys. So I’ll be heavy on the blogging until it’s back up and running…

I wanted to talk about domesticity. I don’t know where you stand on making a house a home, but for me, it was such a low priority as a drinker, that it didn’t exist.

When I was constantly drinking, I didn’t have a home, I just lived places. Flats usually. 

The bedroom was for sleeping off hangovers, and hiding when I had hangover-induced anxiety attacks.

The living room was for drinking alone in.
The kitchen was where I kept drink.
That was it really.

And even during the occasional dry spell, I wouldn’t have the confidence to make my home any nicer. Because I just didn’t have any sense of what my style preferences were.

So I just ignored my house, and got on with trying to stop drinking and sorting my life out.

And I did. I stopped drinking.

But I still didn’t get it; the concept of a house being a home. 

Like so many questions I wasn’t sure how to answer in my non-drinking life, I just left it alone. Let the solution present itself to me, rather than trying to hammer it into place, in a bid to be “perfectly recovered.”

I just started noticing things. That’s the best way I can put it. I’d be scrolling through Instagram and someone’s home decor would grab my attention.

Or someone would post a picture of whet they were busy baking in the kitchen and I’d think “I really like the feeling that gives me when I look at it” so I’d give it a go myself.

I found myself loving having an ordered home. Clutter free. 

I loved buying new cleaning stuff and spending a morning with my sleeves rolled up getting everything spotless.

It just felt so good to me. The slow and gradual timing of domesticity finding me.

My tastes have changed as the years have gone by. The stuff I prepare in the kitchen varies a lot more. Though I do still keep my old favourites around.

My taste in room furnishings has changed a great deal from when I started really identifying who I am and what I really like. Which to me is a perfect reflection of a successful non-drinking journey:


The bit where we put the bottle down l, that part is the non-changing constant. So much so, we barely need to think about it after a while.


But the other personal preferences. The new hobbies and friends and jobs we pick up in our new life? Well they constantly change.

Because the world shows us everyday what new things there are to discover. That’s the exciting part. The trick is learning not to be afraid or turning into a new version of ourselves.

We are supposed to like newness. It doesn’t make us flaky. Or a fair weather friend. It makes us geniuses at non-drinking. An inspired individual who feels settled in their surroundings, yet is open and eager for more of life’s great variety will never return to drinking.



And falling in love, over and over again, with domesticity in all its intricate detailing, provides that variety for me is such simple ways, every single day.

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2 thoughts on “Domestic Affair

  1. carolelye says:

    I totally agree my house has never been so tidy since I gave up drinking , i now take pride in it and I’m continually moving stuff around and making cushion covers and chair covers . It’s all so enjoyable

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